I have a dream. One that requires the opening of one’s mind. Not because of how improbable it is, but because it takes an opening to see the good in people possessed by their own demons. We are as strong as our weakest members in society. You need people that care. That care for one another. I am not preaching. I am not minimizing the hurt that people caused. I am simply someone wanting to transmit valuable skills through the mean of baking in the one place nobody wishes to be; in prison. I think it is inconceivable to think someone is unredeemable of goodness. Of kindness. We are all born naked and afraid. Some stay afraid for much longer than they should be and you need people to give a shit. What do you become when you become afraid of confronting humanity? I do believe some people can’t change. But those are not the one I wish to help. I wish to help the ones who show an interest in evolving, in growing. There is a certain look, a certain certainty, genuineness to people who scream for help interiorly. Most only hope for an opportunity. From my own journey, I know opportunities comes to those who dare to ask for help. Opportunities comes to those looking for them. They don’t just mysteriously fall on your lap. You will wait a long time for it and waste a lot of energy on negativity before anything ever happens to you. You must make it happen for you. My goal is to do it for myself. To make programs that can show the individuals and society that changing is not a myth. I need them as much as they need me for my own path. I feel drawn to it. What for? I haven’t figured that one out yet and probably won’t for a very long time, but to put it out in existence is the beginning of all things.

Baking changed my life. People don’t think much of what baking gives a person. For the solitude that inhibits me, baking saved me. It gave me a reason to exist. A reason to quiet my mind and give me tools that I couldn’t get from my upbringings. There is responsibility in feeding people or feeding the Self. There is satisfaction in creation. The ultimate perk though, the food. Who doesn’t like a belly full of goodies. “Food will always come to does who like to cook”. This couldn’t be more true. I wish for a world that allow people to make mistakes without judgment. But with that, a world of reciprocity. A world that wants to give back. A world that wants to share its gifts and passions with the ones who needs them without expectations.

As a gift for those who made it this far, the best old-fashionned chocolate cake recipe;

1.Cake recipe (makes 2×8 inches cakes)

Sugar 570g
Bread flour 420g
Cocoa powder 130g
Baking soda 8g
Baking powder 8g
Salt 8g
Eggs 140g
Milk 345g
Canola oil 175g
Hot water 345g

Method of Preparation:

1. Sift the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar, mix to
   combine.
2. In a separate bowl combine the oil eggs and the milk, mix with a whisk until smooth.
3. Add the wet mix into the dry mix using a whisk and mix to a smooth paste.
4. Add hot water last and mix well.
5. Deposit batter into parchment lined cake pans.
6. Bake at 180°C (350°F) for 25-30 mins or more if necessary.
7. Test for doneness with the spring back test.
8. Allow to cool for 5 minutes then remove from the pan and allow to cool upside down on
   a wire rack.
9. Place cake in the fridge, covered, overnight to assemble the next day.

2.Chocolate Sour cream Icing (SERIOUSLY GOOD)

Butter 380g
Dark chocolate couverture (64%) 290g
Icing sugar 490g
Cocoa powder 70g
Sour cream 380g

Method of Preparation:

1. Sift the icing sugar and the cocoa powder together into a bowl.
2. Melt the chocolate with the butter over a Bain Marie (water bath) in a large bowl.
3. Add the sifted dry mix to the melted butter and chocolate mix and combine using a
   whisk (the mix with be thick and may look like it is dry and crumbly).
4. Add the sour cream and continue whisking until smooth and emulsified.

Getting a colonoscopy is not for the weak. This single experience just added a whole new level of intricacy to this world. How is it that Western medicine makes you feel torture and pain to figure out what is wrong with you. It is cold, it is impersonal, it is fear inducing. Yet, there are some people that clearly thrives and genuinely care. It just all feels so paradoxal. You know… to be put under sedation (being legally drugged) so that a doctor that spent 8+ years of school can shove a camera up my colon. I can’t imagine how we got to this point. This experience has awaken a belief I had for a long time but never was able to put my finger on.

From a young age, I have had my fair share of hospital visits. Vivid memories of a certain cherry flavored sedative gas. Having suffered from recuring ear infections, I got familiar with the waiting rooms. They always felt so cold. One day, my mom decided that I should try acupuncture. Acupuncture? I knew practically nothing of Eastern Medecine at that point in my life. I remember scaring myself further into going in there by using a good old google search. To get poked by needles in different areas felt extremely odd for me. I always felt so terribly cold there as well. Physically. Not mentally. I think that is the most revealing attribute that allowed me to differentiate the two medecines. It is the environment that matters. One which whom interpersonal skills are require but aren’t felt and one which communication takes other forms. I grew to enjoy acupuncture and although I had the shivers laying down on this table with needle between my brows, I couldn’t stop moving my thumbs up and down, and left to right in order to feel the stinging of the single needle right in the meaty flesh of the hand between the index and the thumb. There was a fascinating pain going on and I couldn’t stop myself from moving it in addition to the additional brow scrunch because it felt kind of painfully good. I don’t know if that was part of it all, but I somehow think that allowing myself to feel those sensations on my body helped revealed that the body speaks to you in ways that you didn’t even know were possible. After all, there is a lot of people at work inside that machine of yours. You would think that Western medicine would understand that rather than forcibly flushing down a pipe system and shoving metal robots into my backdoor. My beef with Western Medecine is that it is somewhat too intricately focused on a single thing rather than the whole. There are so many specializations, and so many brains at work, but they all seem to lose perspective of the very thing they are researching. I think science can be incredible, but I think that in practice, we reveal our flawed thinking of the being. I feel harvested of energy whenever I leave an hospital. When I leave an acupuncture’s practice, I feel rejuvenated. The way you leave a place tells a lot about the institution that controls it. Although we are so incredible advanced, we lack in that department as well. We think that our choices don’t matter, but they do. The collective’s choices will influence the timeline. You will never see the world change due to a single event. It’s through our individual choices that we reveal ourselves to the world. And to the world, it reflects it right back. Let the world reveal itself to you rather than looking for it.

Having this colonoscopy truly showed me the difference between the medecines. It was a lovely reminder of why I need to listen to my body. Treat it with respect and treat it like an engine in needs of things. The body requires things for it to work. We’re the energy consumer to make it work. We are a nervous system at the reigns of a meat suit. That would be quite the drawing wouldn’t it..

ps; thinking i like writing… seeing a future

We’re all teachers to one another if you are willing to listen.

Inspiration in progress.. come back later when the lighting strikes.

If beyond the obstacle is a thing, then what’s before?

When one believes in themselves.. the belief becomes reality. Let it be your guide to growth. any growth.

if only i knew how to play an instrument..

you are never truly alone.

fear is but an obstacle between you and an adaptive advantage.